Once More Into the Breach

Well, it would appear that good fortune continues to smile upon me. Yesterday I was informed that I was offered a fellowship to which I’d applied during the summer but was initially not among the finalists. It does not pay as much as my current arrangement (which ends tomorrow), but it will pay more than the alternative (which would have come out to just barely being the minimum I need per month). This will still require some adjustments and I’m not discounting supplementing my income over the next semester, but at least if I do nothing crazy, I will not have to worry much financially.

I found a couple years ago that rough finances can be hugely distracting. Despite knowing that there is nothing you can do in the short term and that you just need to roll with the punches, it still is quite painful and takes attention away from other things. Downgrading one’s standard of living is a pretty tough task to accomplish. It has been almost four years since I last worked professionally full-time and yet I still don’t feel I’ve fully made the transition to living as I did (a poor graduate student) before I got my job. And given my desire to be done with school as soon as possible, I don’t think I ever will again.

Aside from academic news, this weekend saw me having an interesting set of conversations with a few friends. The three of us have spent time together before, though usually in the company of others. But for some reason, Saturday was the night that I feel we really connected more than we have in the past year or two. With all of us having and living different lives in different cities, catch up time is usually superficial and doesn’t get down into the depths of discussing what we’ve gone through, what makes the challenges at work really challenging, our relationships (or lack thereof). Aside from this, there have been a few other developments.  . . but those will wait as I see how things pan out. For now let’s just say that for the first time since my last relationship ended, I’m getting to know people with whom I feel more than a physical attraction.

Hmm. . .ok, so I’ve known I have a “type” for a long time now. And I’ve noticed, anecdotal yes, that people that I’ve known with very similar looks have tended to have similar personality traits. So now, here is the interesting question: Assuming that I’m right about my type and the similarity across people of very similar appearance, am I my own type’s type? Or is it that because I tend to be attracted to the same sort of women, I end up fulfilling my own hypothesis since some are bound to be attracted to me as well. To make this easier to understand – let us assume that I’m a blue fish and I tend to like pairing with red fish. I hypothesis that red fish thus tend to like pairing with blue fish. But perhaps since at least half of the fish I really pursue are red, I’m skewing the sample population of fish which respond to my attentions.


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