Blast from the Recent Past

Today I weighed in at 216lbs. Despite eating below 1500 calories every day except Friday (about 1800) and working out Tuesday through Friday, I’m still moving up the weight scale. We’ll see how things go over the rest of the weekend. My muscles are all sore. Well, the muscles from my waist up. I need to find routines that require more effort from my lower body. I’m going to have to take my measurements again and make sure I’m not gaining muscle with my workout. I may need to switch it to being all cardio. I’ve decided to try the beef jerky diet. I’m not the first person with this idea – there’s even another blog whose owner has gone through this: Though I’m shooting for more aggressive weight loss than he accomplished.

Today I checked the All Mail folder in my gmail account. I do this because after my breakup, rather than delete my ex from my address book, I marked all her mail to skip my inbox and be marked as read. This was partly due to some post-breakup weirdness that had gone one but also because I just was not in a place to handle real-time response to her. I didn’t even know if I wanted to respond. I still think about her a lot. Even now, almost 6 months later, in what seems to be a growing relationship, I’m not sure exactly where I am. I feel I should be more invested but I can’t tell whether I’ve just not yet reached the point of being totally enamored of this new person or if I’m still hung up on my ex.

I tried to make sure I didn’t go through the rebound process, but perhaps 4 months still wasn’t enough time to move on. Or maybe it was. My ex emailed me last night. Actually, she accidentally called me a couple weeks ago. That really affected me. It took her a while to realize it was me on the phone and she then pretended that she didn’t know who it was and that she’d just accidentally dialed the wrong number. I can read so many things into the email, but I think I will just see it as her reaching out to perhaps be friends again.


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